Analysis of my Brain Storm Draft

                After re-reading my paper on the Bud Light article I have a few concerns. I’m concerned about reaching for content. After writing a few paragraphs I felt like I was stretching and adding more fluff to reach my 2 page limit. With only one ad to analyze I’m concerned that I might not be able to reach a meaningful five pages for the final draft. After writing what I did I felt like I was moving more away from the ad itself and more in the direction of alcohol ads themselves. However maybe I could include this in with my final draft. A piece of analysis on the psychological tactics that alcohol marketers use. After doing a bit of research into the topic I’m sure I can find more.

               

               In my first draft I feel like I might have been under-prepared to write the essay. Maybe next time I need to do a little digging first. Look into marketing tactics, tools the industry uses to sell products. Another area I need to research is Bug Light's advertisement record, and in particular this advertisement. In researching this ad I should try and find out if it was successful or not. To do this I should see if I can find sale reports. Maybe look into their past advertisements success and current and the similarities to this one. One last piece of information I should include is whether this ad was considered controversial. Look into if anyone actually complained about the ad.

                
                    Lastly on my to-do list is working on the general flow of my writing. I feel like as I struggle for more content my writing gets choppy. I plug in sentences that don’t flow well or the wording itself seems off or odd. Another thing I need to fix in the area of general flow is my topic sentences and the last sentences of my paragraphs. These usually don’t link in well to each other. To fix both of these are pretty easy. I feel like all I really need to do is do better at planning. Planning out the flow and direction of my paper. Deciding beforehand what order my thoughts will be in and what paragraphs will go together.

Ads on Facebook

               I use my face book fairly often, I talk to friends, look at pages and use it almost on a daily basis. Until recently their hadn’t been many adds on Facebook. However once I started seeing pages directed towards me I downloaded an ad blocker. To do this assignment I paused the app, and what popped up surprised me. Although I use my Facebook often I was surprised at how well the selective advertisement system worked. About 90% of the ads on my feed were things I had an interest in or things that had to do with my life.  Ads varied from games to apparel and services. With my involvement in fraternities, the Navy and service programs the ads were well tailored to my interests.

                One ad in particular was for a service called Tilt. Tilt is a fund raising service where any party can make donations to a cause or function. My fraternity uses this application often and for many different uses from charity to buying things for parties. Tilt often holds promotional events where they donate money to your cause or give you bonuses like TVs or MacBook’s if you hit a certain number of donors. This particular ad was for a promotion much like the one I described. In the ad the Tilt logo was highly visible and referenced college students. The students look as if they were fraternity members and the whole ad felt directly focused on students like myself. The add had a fresh young vibe to it and was modern in appearance. It was obviously directed towards young college coeds who used the service for funding parties.

                Another ad on my feed was for the company Costa. Costa is a company with roots in off shore fishing as well as outdoor activities. Costa is also a well-known staple of fratty individuals. In this ad there is a college age male decked out in Costa gear with two college coeds on his arms. This add obviously is directed towards males and although it was simple and only had the word Costa but the picture said it all. The picture simply implied that this could be you with Costa. In all the ad was successful though I have some of their sunglasses. 

An Ad Analysis

       

For this assignment I took a look at two company’s ads. Pepsi, and Coke have been at odds ever since Pepsi came on the scene and took some of the market from Coca-Cola. No matter which side of the debate you are on I think we can all agree the both are good but different in their own ways. These differences aren’t just pallet deep but in fact they go much further than that. Coke and Pepsi each practice very different marketing views and tactics. Each have taken different stances over the years but while researching I’ve found that there are two things that are constant: Coke is projected as the tried and true original while Pepsi is “New and cool”.

             

   The first ad I took a look at was the Pepsi. This add is from the 80’s and with the simple slogan “The look of a new generation.” Its intent is clear. Pepsi being the new kid on the block in regards to Coke takes this idea head on. In a simple ad depicting “cool, hip kids” it is clear Pepsi is aiming for younger Americans in this cool new generation. Pepsi seems to be aligning itself as a new drink for the young and cool while its competitors are old and the drink of parents.

  

              The second ad I analyzed was an ad for coke. This ad also being from the 80’s depicts a young man sitting on his jeep drinking a coke. In the caption it reads “Red-White-&-you” with the standard “Coca-Cola Classic”. This ad has a distinctly American theme, an almost Bruce Springsteen feel. The young man looks like a normal America living in the country drinking a cool drink with his dog asleep on the hood. It seems like Coke is playing into its status as the original, an American classic. Coke doesn’t hold back with the American relations though, the slogan proves this. One quality that always seems to be present in Coke ads is consistency. This consistency is found in the logos, fonts, and general themes of their ads and I think this is no mistake.

                Although these ads are both very different there are some similarities. Both ads utilize their logos and place them somewhere that draws the eye. Both ads use catch phrases that appeal to a thought or ideal. And both ads seem directed towards teen or young adults.

Analyzing My Essay

              While writing my essay I felt fairly confident in my ability to express what I wanted to express. However after reading it over again I could tell I had fallen short in some key areas. My paper was supposed to be about the link between moral education and adulthood. And while my intentions stayed the same throughout the paper I felt that I didn’t purse it effectively. I feel that in my paper I got too interested and preoccupied in exposition and setting up the plot. I let myself go on and on about how I ended up here and didn’t focus on why it mattered. I allowed myself to drift away from the purpose of the paper. I feel that my topic, the education of morals, is important. I believe it shapes who we are as people. But, I was not very successful in exploring this.

               

               In my paper I felt that my voice varied. I was unable to find a unifying tone. I felt like I was searching for the right voice throughout the paper. Reading it over again it felt almost artificial, like I was pandering to my audience. As for who my audience is I didn’t put much thought into it, it was more of a “whoever” feel. But moving forward I definitely need to identify with an audience. I also wanted this paper to be a look at how interactions and experiences shape our moral education. Moving forward I also need to find a way to express this to my audience.

               

                In my paper I felt that I did some things effectively and others not so much. I felt I was able to depict situations successfully. I was able to show my feelings and thoughts with the reader. I also feel that I have a great topic that I can expand upon further. There are some things I need to improve upon though. I need to work on making my paper flow more smoothly. At times I feel that my sentences and paragraphs are choppy and don’t mesh well. I also need to work on incorporating my topic better. To remedy these issues I’m going to go back through my paper and attempt so smooth it out with more detail and also by removing some unneeded fluff.

Learning About Learning

               “Don’t do that!” that’s probably the first instruction we ever received as a child that we truly remember. Do we ever really think as children that we are constantly learning? Where we really just blank canvases waiting to be made into a masterpiece, I think so.  Sitting down to do this I’ll be honest I didn’t give myself much time. But as I sat here trying to pour my thoughts into an essay about learning I realized I had already learned a lesson. Never give yourself less than an hour to write. And boom there it was, a learning moment. But as this moment passed I wondered, what is learning? What is education? All philosophical questions for someone much more learned than me. And someone with much more time on their hands. But still a question remains, why do we strive to learn?

                The first large task that I remember learning was riding a bike. Although I learned many things before this, for some reason this was a significant event. I knew how to walk, eat, and speak effectively already however mastering the art of riding a bike was king. I think it might have had something to do with my father, to this day I still strive to make him proud. Maybe we don’t just learn to better ourselves or out of necessity, maybe we do it for others. Although he have a base instinct to always better ourselves and advance in development maybe we learn for other reasons.  Reasons like making loved ones proud or a more Freudian reason: Making others take notice.

                
                     As a young child I grew up in Germany, born to German-Americans abroad I was lucky enough to grow up as a German. For the first 5 years of my life I effectively grew up thinking nothing about being American or going to the US. I learned to speak, walk, and talk like a German along with the other children in Kaiserslautern. Although I did eventually move to America and learn English, languages stayed something that was important to me. Within a year I learned English and after a few more I effectively lost my accent. After learning English so quickly I realized I had a talent. In high school I utilized this talent to learn French. Learning French and later Czech and Dutch was not out of need however. These languages were learned for a new reason. Impressing girls. Needless to say it wasn’t effective.

My Most Valued Skill

“I have a very particular set of skills…” This is what first came to my mind when we spoke in class on Friday. I imagined myself in the movie Taken about to kick some ass. But in reality my set of skills are rather the opposite of what I might need to take down a human trafficking ring. In fact so much so that when I looked at my list I thought to myself: “Wow, I really need to expand my interests.” However, there was one skill that jumped off the page at me. A skill that at first seemed ridiculous and frankly silly. But the more I thought about it the more I realized how useful it really is. This skill is the ability to bullshit.

Growing up I had the privilege of learning this skill at an early age. I was able to watch my parents pretend everything was OK until they thought I was able to understand. I learned that this wasn’t just lying or putting on a façade but instead it was a tool. A tool to protect someone (in my case) but also a skill that could be used to do a job effectively. I learned the second use for this skill from my father when I first showed interest in the military. Since then I’ve observed just how to use it in a professional setting.

My father is a rather average man in terms of height and size however he is unmatched din his morals. From the age of 6 I have been his pupil in the studies of life. A position I hold with pride, I’ve learned many things but one will always remain important. This is the ability to bullshit for the sake of duty. My father served 23 years in the USAF and in his time he has lead and followed. He utilized this skill to push policy and follow others orders. As an intensely moral man I always knew who wasn’t lying for personal gain but always for a collective good. He would bullshit not for selfish reasons but selflessly for his service to others as well as to protect those he led. I learned not only the use of following orders you don’t agree with but, following them gracefully. This I believe will be a skill I will need for many years not only in my career but in life itself.

How it Feels "Coming Home Again"

Reading “Coming Home Again” served as a personal journey. This journey originally for the writer slowly as I progressed through, became a journey for myself as well. A story focused around a less conventional Mother-Son relationship that unfortunately ends in great loss. In this short personal story the Author Chang Rae Lee does an excellent job in describing details so that I felt as if I was experiencing these things with him. He did this in such a way that at the end I felt a loss for his mother. So much so that I called my mother. Reading this piece two things came to the forefront: the voice of the writing and the story’s thesis.

While reading this piece I felt that the author was not only trying to convey a story to the audience. Along with the story about his relationship with his mother the Lee wanted to convey a feeling. This feeling seeped through the pages as I read. A feeling of loss and sadness however also a feeling of pride. Loss for his mother but also pride in the kind of woman that she was. This the author conveyed in his tone and choice of words. His detail and timing proved to further impact the voice of the piece. As I finished the reading I left with more than just a story, I left with a feeling. That feeling would not have been possible without the right tone and voice.

While tone and voice added to the story the point of it was what brought home “Coming Home Again”. As a young man who had a different relationship with his mother, Lee’s insight and thought struck a cord. I found myself placing my mother in his story and imagining myself in his shoes. I felt lose alongside him and ultimately realized what he was trying to convey. Through the story he wasn’t trying to convey his loss or his mother’s suffering but in fact the understanding for his mother’s actions. In the end Lee uses this story to show that he ultimately understood why his mother acted the way she did, and in the end he knew just how much she loved him.

A Comparison of Two Personal Essays

             The two essays I read today at first glance didn’t have much to share in comparison. However, after stepping back for a moment I found that both shared similar qualities. They both were able to provide a purpose and both utilized descriptive and illustrative language. Also they shared the genre of a personal essay. After this though, similarities ended abruptly. While they both fit into the same general genre their tone and presentation were completely different. I would be lying if I didn’t bring the length of the writing into perspective as well. All together though I clearly had a favorite.

                

               In the first writing I found myself drawn in. The writer used a colorful pallet of words that helped describe scenes with detail. In his description of fire I found myself standing in front of it witnessing the brave men combat the flames. I felt attached to his story and his thoughts. I felt an impact that I did not in the second writing. I would like to attribute this the writers tone and his choice of words. He didn’t bombard the reader with too much information and he didn’t speak in circles. The essay itself was short and had a punch. I left feeling that I had taken a walk through the writers mind and thoughts.

                The second piece although informative left me uninterested. Although I am passionate about aiding people with disabilities I found myself feeling cold towards this piece. Unlike the first I felt the writer decided that she needed to just go on and on without really describing what her days are like. I found myself thinking “yeah ok but why should I be interested?” This is how I felt the whole time which besides being a bit harsh, was how others might have felt as well. The language was drawn out and I was waiting for the point page after page. Unlike the first reading the writer tried to hold on to the audience’s attention for too long and once she had it she failed to throw interesting pieces to the audience. Although informative I found myself not feeling connected to the writer as I did in the first and that was crucial.