Review of Jacob's Argument

"In your paper you do a great job of adding a new twist to what we read in the book. Your argument serves as an excellent rebuttal to the topics and evidence of the original article. In doing this you not only broke down his premise rather well but you also went after his credibility which I thought was a rather great choice. In the beginning of your paper though I had a hard time figuring out what your stance was, not until the third paragraph was I sure you disagreed with the writer. After that though there was no question so possibly consider stating your opinion and stance more clearly earlier on in the argument. Throughout the paper I could tell you really wanted to inject yourself more into the writing and your personal stories definitely helped but I would be interested to see how your paper would feel if you made it less stiff and more personal. Your body utilizes logic and personal narrative very well and you do a good job at refuting the previous articles premise. Something that you may want to address are the individual sins and how they don’t apply to college students, or just specifically at Tech. As for the paragraph on the videos I think this a really interesting idea that students are acting this way, is this a part of the culture? Maybe you should define for the audience what you think student culture is compared to what the media suggests it is. Lastly there are a few grammatical errors here and there , to fix those I would just sit down with someone and have them proofread, as English was my second language I know the struggle."